Torrie
- You're in my thoughts when I am awake
- nothing you do is ever a mistake
- you're in my dreams at night
- even when we are cuddled tight
- You're always in my heart
- stealing mine from our start
- back when it was forbidden
- and I was hiding every mark bitten
- Living the life of young romance
- never thinking I really had a chance
- on our small nights, and little walks
- enjoying all the moments, and the talks
- Always acting and trying to play it cool
- and there I'd be waiting for you after school
- and with only 5 minutes to walk you to class
- doing my best to make those times last
- I still remember the feel of our first kiss
- how it charged my body with a calming bliss
- and your face is my only source of happiness
- wanting to never have to worry of ending this
- you are my beautiful rose
- and you are who I choose to propose
- I have thought this many times
- I wrote a million lines
- and on your finger you have my ring
- making our innocent love a serious thing
- now it means forever just us two
- spending the rest of eternity with you
- I know right now we are states away
- but we are counting down until that day
- that we have a place to call a home
- and we have a family of our own
Decisions
Living so much in one day
Three times faster to turn your hair grey
The stress from work, and things I do
To the oblivion world, they’d never knew
Dealing with obstacles out my age
learning early on the childish self, to cage
living in a world I don’t fit in
where, civilian world and military life doesn’t blend
constantly on base and on their time
responsibility always. fun is almost a crime
most can’t handle the life I live, nor understand
some offer advice trying to pretend they can
don’t say anything until you go through what I do
you talk and preach rant like you have a clue
If it is as easy as you try to present your case
How come then you are not in my place
thanks for your pep talk they don’t mean shit
regardless of what happens it my choice to quit
I have a life and things to worry about
preach to me, I’ll listen, follow I doubt
a few have been around the block a time or two
and there are some of those I will listen to
Got some troubles and deal with them like we all do
and some problems you help with, thank you
I am dead determined and counting days
that putting it together will help in many ways
and my life won’t be all I am worried for
a nice house, a family, and keys to my car
and with this idea is the life I made
how these ideals turn out my decisions persuade
with our lives all my decisions are laid
and that worry build up and changes my shade
every mistake I made brought back to light
wondering is bringing others into this mess right
and with everything I do affecting the mass
holds me as fragile as a sheet of glass
with that also said I am looking at you
and wanting to know desperately if it’s true
hoping all I have done, doing isn’t for nothing
making sure that what we have is really something
now things change since that scene
awhile back it took place
finding what I found out slapped my face
feeing a side of Cupid’s arrow”s sting
so this is how I spend an average day
with everything now a slight test
as to which you unwittingly out best
so I believe that you are here to stay
but I can’t forget what hurt me
and until things end, it shall remain
regardless of how much trust you regain
and just how much you’ll earn, I’ll see
the point that this is trying to make
despite my personal issues I can’t take a break
and I don’t want to create another mistake
for myself and my families sake.
an average day
The world changes before my eyes
One quick flash and its gone leaving my ties
The outside world couldn’t comprehend
The troubles I go through until days end
Looking at the connection I can’t seem to find
The one I used to have view is currently blind
For the attention I need and the kind I crave
It feels relaxed and I start to feel grave
How can she know what I want and not care
Her unintentional punishment isn’t fair
With our love we continuously need to prove
Because in my quiet times, her heart I feel I’ll lose
She knows what I fear and what I want
so these actions of hers only seem to taunt
I shouldn’t deal with being ignored or wait for her to text
the more this continues the more I wonder what’s next
when we are so far away
an eternity can fit into a day
and as I wish you could show your care
I hate coming across the times you’re not there
How often this is the case
while you’re at home I’m on base
who you’re with and what you do
in your silence I don’t have a clue
In your absence my mind finds doubts
and the world I live spins about
leaving me with continues time to think
a whole days thought fitting inside one eyes blink
I don’t like being impatient or paranoid
these are characteristics I try to avoid
If I am not already, It’s driving me insane
and times I wonder if we ever will talk again
A Tale of Two Pearls
The pearl is slipping form my hand,
Should I just let it fall to the ground while I reach out for another one?
What makes this one better than that one?
It shines in the light but is kind of dull to the touch,
This other one shines as well even though it may be easier to crack,
It is great to the senses of touch and feel.
After all isn’t that part of the deal?
Sometimes if you wait you can tell some pearls will shine
Whether or not is a gamble of time,
Any fool will tell two pearls are not the same
Each one if you study has different appeal
So if I want one that shines and has lustful appearance
What should stop me?
Is it that I want to gamble on the hours glass sand’s falling motion?
Or am I scared of a more pathetic notion?
At the time isn’t all that matters is what the buyer likes?
But who says that the buyer actually chooses?
Be a mutual agreement of the two
That is possible to
Stopping the pearl from falling is making me a gambler
But I am to impatient to wait that long
When another pearl is sitting in grasp reach
Just waiting for my hand to come along
To wear this pearl on my neck now would be lechery
Cause the other pearl hasn’t fallen completely
Defying gravity just waiting for a response
A hint, a clue at what the hand is going to do.
To keep one safe and the other at hand
I will put these two pearls on a single band
However separation is the key
I have one in the front, one in the back of me
One for show the other for personal pleasure
Does it make it wrong or make me confused
Neither pearl should have to go threw the abuse
But the buyer in this case is greedy and a gambler
Keeping one from falling and picking out another
One to hide in my room, one to show mother
But I am sure the mother knows about the one hiding
She has always known about my lying
But the world doesn’t need to know
I am keeping both for different show
One of those fucking awful black days when nothing is pleasing and everything that happens is an excuse for anger. An outlet for emotions stockpiled, an arsenal, an armour. These are the days when I hate the world, hate the rich, hate the happy, hate the complacent, the TV watchers, beer drinkers, the satisfied ones. Because I know I can be all of those little hateful things and then I hate myself for realising that. There’s no preventative, directive or safe approach for living. We each know our own fate. We know from our youth how to be treated, how we’ll be received, how we shall end. These things don’t change. You can change your clothes, change your hairstyle, your friends, cities, continents but sooner or later your own self will always catch up. Always it waits in the wings. Ideas swirl but don’t stick. They appear but then run off like rain on the windshield. One of those rainy day car rides my head implodes, the atmosphere in this car a mirror of my skull. Wet, damp, windows dripping and misted with cold. Walls of gray. Nothing good on the radio. Not a thought in my head.
Post with 2 notes
Crossroads
Coming across the crossroad in our street
I see you, you see me
Remembering trying to forget each memory
I smile at you, you grimace at me
Thinking of us I thought we had chemistry
I stand still, you walk past me
Never looking back at each others backs
your gone, I am here
Looking for away to get out of our memory
Tomorrow comes, there you are
Coming across the crossroads in the street
I see you, you don’t see me
It seems I am the one stuck in our memory
I wave at you, you pass me
How could I thin we we ever had chemistry
I stand here, you are gone
I look back to see if you look back to me
you never did, i always do
I thought I would get over the sting that is you
I am in pain, you, you smile
I just want this memory I share to end
I look for you, your not here
at the crossroads in which we always meet
I smile at you, you are just a memory
I remember how we once had great chemistry
now i cross the street
I look back to see you looking back at me
We both nod, and I lose your memory
Chat with 1 note
Hello
- SO this is the first "normal" weekend I have had in some time and you know what? I hate it, i ma used to everything rushing around me often dealing with the separation of realty and fantasy because I am running on the fumes of my hour nap as my only sleep, and fighting with two younger brothers two dogs and an over sized fluff ball, racing around making up the shit i couldn't do the week before because of the war going on that follows me and never lets me be.
- you would think that any time away from this hellish life style would be blissful, but i find myself going more insane than on these days, makes a lot of sense, right? well welcome to the realm of the weird. nothing normal here and we dont want nothing normal because nothing normal is fun.
Quote with 1 note
On the way to discovering what we love, we will find everything we hate, everything that blocks our path of what we desire.
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